Can’t make a pizza in the Bronx

Thurday 13th

So…we once again had to decide what we were eating today. After a hard day of work, I am not cooking, sorry. So what are our choices? Kennedy Fried Chicken,Chinese food, another Kennedy Fried Chicken, another Chinese food, and a Pizza/ Spanish food place that is always inexplicably closed by 6PM so the employees can play poker.

Me and my boy, Alex decided to get pizza. However, Alex makes the best pizza so I decided to forgo a $12 pie in favor of a homemade dish. It sleeting and raining and it’s cold as hell. We go to Bravo and start buying ingredients- red pepper, green pepper, etc etc. So we look for pizza crust and a stick of pepperoni. Looking,looking…no dice. We ask one of the employees. He actually speaks English, I am genuinely surprised! He’s very nice and tries to find it for us. He tells us he used to stock if for them and they carry it in his neighborhood. Well, we aren’t in your neighborhood are we? We are near Hunt’s Point and they only carry Spanish food. I mean come on, I am half Puerto Rican and all, but the Pathmark in Bensonhurst carries every Goya, Vitarroz, ethnic thing they can but Bravo doesn’t have Boboli? What the hell. So we hope for the best and buy the ingredients we have in our hand and go to the next store.

On the way we have to duck a truck on the sidewalk with a plow removing snow. Good ole Department of Housing- endangering pedestrians and creating a sheet a black ice (who needs salt?) Sigh…

So we finally get to the Met Supermarket. Oh boy,oh boy. The Met. And I wonder why I stopped going there. The cashiers are rude, the employees ignore you, the prices are outrageous, and it’s dirty half the time. But we need crust right? So we go in and they are restocking at 3pm in the day. There is hardly any walking space and people are knocking into each other. Sure enough they have no pizza crust, but plenty of freaking Tortilla shells! We had no choice but to buy yeast and flour and make the damn dough (thank God he’s half Italian right?). We go to get a pan and they are all bent out of shape. While trying to get it I get covered with dirty ice. Guess what? The stock got wet! So the employees are throwing things over the head of customers and splashing them with grey sludge. Me and my boyfriend were about to explode. We had to get out of there.

Honestly though, my baby made a great pizza. Red and green peppers, mushrooms, pepperoni (the Oscar Meyer kind unfortunately) , sweet Italian sausage, cheddar cheese, and mozzarella cheese. Want some?